YDO's birthday / coming early

I have been out forging new links within the club (the whole Facebook phenomenon becomes ever more bizarre).

Jordan is hoping extension gets sorted tmoz, so he can play sat. 00:33 - Comment - Like

Jordan joined the group who the fuck are chelsea!!! 00:40 - Comment - Like

Jordan is ready to teach blackburn and samba a lesson. 23:06 - Comment - Like

CCFC - a business on the up

Whereas at least we give the players a good 40 minutes rest between games...
http://www.ccfc.co.uk/page/Fixtures/0,,10269,00.html

ITV - a business going under

For those of you who read the business blog, you'll have noticed a few posts on the demise and impending implosion of ITV.

As another example of their general shoddy approach to football, this is currently on their website. No sub-editing, common sense or pride in their product at all.....

http://www.itv.com/Sport/Football/Championship/default.html

Fixtures - bottom right of the page - Crystal Palace are not playing Birmingham and Coventry at the same time....

It took them 4 hours to notice this - but at least they have now changed it.

A double over the Blues

With Big Gay Kev saving his pennies for Tuesday (and defending his flat against poltergeists) and Big Straight Craig taking G2, Tom Jones and a giant smurf to Barcelona, I was only member of the London division of the Urban Cookie Collective to head to the Ricoh. A quick pre-match interception at the casino confirmed that Paul, Dale, Matt and Hootie all still exist.

"Hillary" Clinton Morrison should have scored after 30 seconds but chose to aim for Maik Taylor's ankles (and what kind of name is Maik?). The ball flew off for a corner and the Blues breathed a sigh of relief at not conceding a ridiculously early goal. Oh dear...

Danny "Sam" Fox whipped the corner in for Scott Dann"i Minogue" to wave a foot at the ball which obligingly went straight into the goal without much in the way of a reaction from the Blues defence. So only 89 minutes to hang on... But rather than sit back we proceeded to pummel Birmingham for the rest of the game - David "Tinker" Bell should have put us two nil up at half time, Leon "Angie" Best should have put us two nil up oh and so should Jordan "Mrs Andre" Henderson.

Vivienne had one decent save to make - he needed to quickly readjust himself mid-air in a way that made you wish he and not Handy Andy had been in goal at Blackburn.

The Blues fans got their knickers in a twist when a Sir Clive Sinclair goal was not given following an earlier offside- the ref had not noticed the flag had been up some time and thought it might have been a mis-call by the Assistant Referee following a touch by Ben "Tina" Turner. After a horrible few moments which gave me flashbacks to Cardiff away, the Ref raised his arm to indicate an indirect free kick and several hundred ignorant Brummies started cheering thinking a goal had been given. We then had the statutory five minutes injury time (with no streaker as an excuse this week). This time though we hung on. It would be nice to have a two goal lead at the end of regulation time, just once.

All in all a very strong team performance with Cookie almost able to start with the full strength team. The only worry was that Leon "Julia" McKenzie appeared to lose a battle with gravity and drop on his ankle so we await to hear how he mends. In any event we should extend Katie Price's loan, if only to ensure the YDO's attendance in future.

And as an added bonus at the end Gunner threw his boots into the CT crowd - he had a good game but didn't score - who knows what he will throw at us when he scores a hat-trick to get us to the Quarter Final on Tuesday. Something for us all to dwell on in detail in advance of Tuedsay night.

Facebook devotees may have missed the GEFCO match sponsors' photos of their day out which included some gems from the dressing room (and many apologies for unintentional copyright infringement) :

A further picture fuzzily described the Brum players - I have transcribed the more amusing comments that I could read:

Sebastian Larsson - "Poor defender - doesn't know the position. Leaves big gaps in behind" Ouch... Not going to be signing for the City any time soon.

Marcus Bent "Handful, if he turns up" Miaaaaow...

Lee Bowyer "Red Mist!" I don't know what they can possibly be referring to.

It's almost worth sponsoring a match to get a preview of the Manager's sarky analysis of the opposition - Craig get your cheque book out.

Those of us not priviliged to get the pre-match tour formed a meagre 22k crowd, our biggest of the season- will we get near that on Tuesday given that Rovers are bringing their away fans down in Royston Vasey 's very own Babs Cabs?

And finally, having feminised the team in the manner of a camp World War II concert party I still have one player left to make over - Gunner himself - as Lah Di Dah Gunnar didn't catch on perhaps Melvyn Hayes' career defining role from It Ain't Half Hot Mum will ... Gunner "Gloria" Gunnarson.

Blackburrrn away - the invasion of Ewood Park

I had a good feeling that we'd get a result at Blackburn. They were poor, we were having fun in the Cup, and we'd sold the best part of 5,000 tickets. The stage was set for another good away trip, and SBJ, G2, Kev and myself managed to get to the different rendez-vous points on time for a trip up north in Grandpa.

4 hours later, the Fernhurst appeared, complete with bolt-on hotel rooms which were surprisingly nice, and a large pub, with police horses in the car park. Quickly onto the game, as time is short and I'm off to Barcelona in the morning. One day I will type that and include the words "to see our Champions League quarter final 1st leg". Not just yet though.

So, Ewood Park. The Jack Walker Memorial Rockery was a bit of a disappointment. Inside the ground, the home support was poor. See what I mean? And one of the other stands was reminiscent of the last round. While the skyblue army was out in force. Blackburn kicked off with Rocky Santa Cruise looking disinterested up front, even when he scored after 84 seconds. No matter, it's a game of two halves and 90 minutes. The first half saw the Gunner miss a header in front of goal to equalise, and Boozy looking totally at sea. We went into the break a goal down, with the 4-5-1 not working at all.

The Coalman earned his money with his half time team talk, Best came on, and Doyle and the Gunner started bossing the midfield. The ball came out from a corner and was put back in by the Fox. The clearing header fell to the Gunner, who took a touch and volleyed a cracker from 25 yards past the bloke from Neighbours. We went wild. Ten or so minutes later, Mrs Doyle planted a shot from outside the box firmly against Samba's thigh, and we were two up. All we had to do was hang on. Then Cupid arrived, dressed in large white pants and trainers, and held up proceedings.



Wheels on your house went close, and should have scored, but managed not to shoot or pass to More Reasons. The 90 minutes were up, and we'd won. But, alas, undone by Cupid. 5 minutes more to play, and with 70 seconds to go, Handy Andy proved more like Mumble Fumble, and they snatched a late late equaliser. Gutted. But, a replay at the Ricoh, which is good for the finances, should be a large crowd and good atmosphere, and Chelsea at home in the quarters. Can't wait.

We returned to the Fernhurst for beers, skyblue WKD, sambuca and darts, accompanied briefly by Paul, and for much longer by 'Ells Bells, making her debut bow this season. A remarkably good evening ensued, which was nice.

Easily mistaken for a Spurs top...

Copper Sulphate is not big and it's not clever

CCFC v BRFC through the years

As we prepare to trundle up various Motorways to the grim, cold North, in our search for a beef and yorkshire pudding wrap and a passage into the quarter-finals for the first time in 11 years, one is not really inspired to look at past meetings between the 2 sides.

However, it is notable that quite apart from last year's 4-1 victory - from which I imagine only Ten Burners and the now-prolific Mrs Doyle may start tomorrow (alas no Borrowdale or Michael Hughes, and no Dutch Elm Disease on the bench - he was to save his best for the 5th round farce against the Baggies) - several of our top flight meetings against Big Sam's new charges were high-scoring encounters.

One recalls the BBC's marvellous unbiased commentary on our scandalous 5-2 victory in January 1993 (Lee Hurst with an even better finish than his last minute cup winner for Cambridge) , the 5-o win at Highfield Road with an orange ball in December 1995 (they must have been bad - even Rennie scored), the 5-1 reverse at Ewood a few months earlier, and a 4-0 away defeat in January 1997.

I recall Julian Darby's brace in the early 90's (one from a piece of Leigh Jenkinson magic down the left-wing), which ended Rovers' title assault and led to Phil Neal's mirth-inducing claim that had he been signed earlier or avoided injury, said midfielder would have finished ahead of Ndlovu as leading scorer. Yes boss.

Personal memories of Ewood include drinking 2 bottles of Bulgarian wine on the club coach before a 2-0 midweek surrender in the League Cup, a great 2-1 victory to herald the post-Dublin era, and a 2-1 F.A.Cup victory in 1997, with Oggy saving a Sutton penalty to allow us to hang on.

Nothing against Roy Wegerle, but we also owe them for stealing one of our greatest ever players off us.

The World's Richest Clubs - where are we?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7884780.stm

Deloitte have published the league table of the World's Richest Football Clubs, headed by Real Madrid with £290 million annual turnover, with Manchester United second with £257 million.

Context is everything in football, as it is in life. In some parts of the world, my height would result in me being worshipped as a God, while on the terraces I am reviled for having a clear view and casting a shadow on those behind me. Context, context, context.

Anyway, I reckon CCFC is probably turning over £6-7 million a year without a good cup run. It may be more, but my instinct tells me not.

Leaves us a million miles, well 250 million miles, away from the largest club in the UK, though they have debts to service that would even make Michael Jackson twitch.

Makes you think a little though doesn't it

Match Report - Wolves at home

So, our not-that-local rivals from deepest darkest Black Country-land came to visit, crowing from their lofty top of the table perch. Which Skyblue team would turn up we wondered before the game? The Giants from QPR or the defenders of the Alamo from Torquay? SBJ was in his usual seat, myself and little Jim were up in the posh seats, while Matt was on a eat-all-you can hotel trip and Kev was making sure an illegal alien was successfully placed on a plane at Heathrow.

Bigfoot, Inda Carlisle and Jaffa McCake all made their Ricoh debuts, with Oh Lord not even making the squad. Injured or out of favour we wondered? No matter.

A bright start, with Inda Carlisle looking particularly threatening in the first half. More Reasons turned his marker smartly and toe-poked the ball past Hennessey, for Mrs Doyle to pounce on the post-rebound from a yard out. Cue celebrations and the immediate thought of whether we could hang on for the next 60 minutes.

We got to half time, and looked pretty good. After half time, Wolves went at us with more vigour and invention, with Jarvis down the left wing giving In the afternoon a torrid time. Vivienne flapped at a couple of corners before being rooted to the spot as Vokes powered in a header from beyond the back post. This was when we'd see what the boys were made of - would they roll over and let the Wolves steal all 3 points, or could we hang on?

Unusually for us this season, the equaliser spurred us into action. Bigfoot had a volley from 12 yards when unmarked that he should at least have got on target, and Duke scooped the ball high and wide when one on one. Then a moment of creative genius that's been sorely missing so far this season, Bigfoot slid a glorious through ball to the Duke, who finished beautifully to give us a deserved lead. Now we had to hang on.

And hang on we did, until the 94th minute, when during a last ditch scramble Ten Burners neatly won the ball, only for the referee to remember his 2-2 correct score bet. Dodgy penalty, massive protests, a yellow card, and the chance for an equaliser.

We held our collective breath, and hoped the League's top scorer would bottle the chance under pressure and create one of those pivotal moments in a team's season where table topping turns into an ultimate failed play-off campaign. Ebanks and Blake scuffed their shot low and Vivienne pounced like an RBS banker on a bonus cheque. Cue mad celebrations and an evacuation of the away end.

Final whistle followed seconds later, and the points were ours.

Sets up Blackburn away nicely, as the Villa did us a favour by ending Big Sam's unbeaten run. Apparently we are 5-1 to win at Ewood Park, but that sounds way too long, I for one am feeling confident we can get a result on Saturday now we have width, pace and confidence in the team, and several thousand fans gunning for Cup glory.

PUSB - 22 years of hurt could still be ended, and my 125-1 Cup winning bet is still alive.

Is the grass greener on the outside of the Ricoh?

The first in an occasional series, rounding up how well our recently departed players are faring at their new clubs.

Show pony - an unused substitute as Fulham drew 0-0 at Wigan.
Superhobbit - not in the Reading squad as they drew 0-0 at home to Preston.
Malteser - snowed off
Kyle - sent off after 68 minutes as Killie lost 2-0 to Terry Butcher in the Scottish Cup.

So, this week, we're happier than they are.

Are football agents lower down the food chain than estate agents?

Unusally for this blog so far, this is going to be a post on football more generally, rather than a witty reflection on a Skyblue victory.

I read with interest that The Coalman was approached by a "rogue agent" trying to unsettle Danny Fox and tempt him into a move to Newcastle, presumably at the same time as approaching Newcastle and claiming to represent Danny Fox who wanted a move away from Coventry. The Coalman is suitably dismissive about this low life, trying solely to generate fees for himself and destabilise a player, but it did make me think about where a football agent fits into the food chain.

We (the fans) pay our money, which goes into the Club's revenues along with any TV monies, sponsorship, corporate revenues, programme sales and half time draws. We pay the players' wages (interestingly Newcastle's wage bill is £73m a year - which I reckon must be 11-12 times larger than ours). The players spend this money on tattoos and cars, and their agents get paid commission on contracts negotiated and transfers completed. And take commission on any additional revenues from personal appearances at Primark etc. Agents have to be registered with FIFA/UEFA, and now have stricter regulations than in the past (for example, all purchases of brown envelopes must be evidenced with a dated receipt).

I can sort of understand why Ronaldo, Kaka and Robinho need agents, for the sums of money involved are massive and any discussions including image rights need someone with more experience than the ability to curl a free kick in from 30 yards. These agents are probably well worth their commission.

"Rogue agents", while sounding like they should be in the Matrix with Canoe Reeves, sound like they are right at the bottom of the food chain. They'd like to be a parasite, earning from the talent of others, only they don't have any clients. So, they speculate. If successful, they destabilise a player, create a transfer, and the agent banks his 15%. Which is actually our money, or some of our money.

The Coalman should name and shame this low-life, and we should invite the bottom-feeder to come to a fans' forum and explain what he does for a living, and why he should continue living.

Who's with me? Apologies for the slightly misleading title to this post, for the younger readers among us, an estate agent was a job (not a career) that used to be carried out by people in loud suits, an over-inflated sense of their own worth, and a company car kitted out in loud colours that needed to be driven like Stevie Wonder on acid.

Escape from the window?

It's 5.10pm. We've got rid of the Show Pony, our Malteser has gone to chase whippets, and McShortcake has joined us on deadline day.

Not bad at all. We keep Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Danny Danny, Fox, Danny Fox, Danny Danny Fox, and Vivienne delays his departure until the summer.

Well done Arson Yarn, leading from the front and keeping our assets for the FA Cup Express. I'm still optimistic that we might have some fun yet in the next 3 months.

Wolves up next, then assuming Blackburn and Sunderland get to play their tie in the next 10 days when the snow all goes, a trip up north.

Transfer deadline day - 2nd February 2009

I really don't like transfer deadline day. The little remaining optimism I have for the season can be shattered in the next 2 hours depending on what exactly happens.

So far, we know that:

Muffs has gone to Barnsley on loan - fair enough, he's out of contract at the end of the season, but it would have been nice to have got a fee for him.

Roy Hodgson has agreed to keep the Show Pony on loan for the rest of the season - good business for us to save his wages, assuming that's the way it's working.

The Gunner is staying - as his facebook status tells us he's off to Iceland on holiday, presumably to recuperate, so he won't be signing for anyone. So that's why mums go to Iceland...

And McPake has joined, which means we need a nickname for him.

It's rumoured that:

Fox is signing for Newcastle for £1.6m - poor business, bad timing and not enough money if this is true

Vivienne is having a medical at Newcastle - no fee yet mentioned - also poor business, he's saving us points at the moment, we'll be looking over our shoulders again if he goes.

Time will tell, roll on 5pm

Derby County Away

It was Valentines Day part 1 this weekend, which was why I missed our 2-1 defeat at Pride Park. While the more traditional of you might think this is two weeks early for a romantic get-away, the fifth round trip "up north", as G2 vaguely and dismissively describes it, is no substitute for romance apparently.

So, trading a defeat at Derby for a Valentines Day fifth round victory (memories of Villa Park and Moldovan's legendary winner) seems like a stroke of genius. SBJ, Kev, myself and G2 are now poised to travel north on the FA Cup Express. Provided the snow has melted and London is working again by then.