My CCFC mole informs me that Manic Trainer is anything but, having failed to show a few weeks ago, not answering his phone, and having a morning-long nap. This coming 2 months after he was given a ‘final warning’ by Betty Boo explains Dick Wood’s presence on the left.
As to explaining Nathan Cameron’s presence anywhere near a football pitch, I cannot.
A brief potted history of the 6 weeks since the Last Post
Won at Sheff Utd (still owe them for FACQF ’98), went 4th (fourth), everyone went mad and went to Dirty Leeds at home who did us 3-2 before the annual defeat at the City Ground. The Most Ridiculous Game Ever at Selhurst Park followed where the ref beat us 2-0 despite an excellent turn-out from the crew, with unconfirmed reports of singing in a London Bridge curry house at the dénouement and the birth of SBJ’s new usual tipple, the ‘Diet Coke’ G&T.
With the season fast unravelling, Mrs Doyle scored her tri-annual goal to limp past Burnley, Scunny were dispatched by goals from Shef and not King despite Biased Dad’s pleading, and then a Tale of Two Penalties against Boro saw us go 5th (fifth) with King finally scoring and predictably revealing a pointless txtspk msg on his undershirt, but Vivienne and Jaffa McCake the real heroes. Halcyon days.
Preparations for Reading away are afoot, a ground where I remember we used to often win and Dele always score, but not for some time. Then Norwich, Cardiff and QPR to complete 2010. Eek! PUSB. Oh, and England beat Australia or something.
Where are they now - overload
From the Coventry Telegraph website -
"FOREST Green Rovers have confirmed they will stand by former Coventry City starlet Lee Fowler, who has admitted he is an alcoholic. The 27-year-old, who made 14 first team appearances for the Sky Blues between 1999 and 2003, has vowed not to drink again after spending a month at Tony Adams' Sporting Chance Clinic in Surrey. Fowler, who is currently recovering from a knee ligament injury, was called into the full Wales squad as a teenager but believes booze held back his career that has seen him play for eight different clubs"
"RICHIE PARTRIDGE has been hailed by New Saints for the impact he's made since arriving at the Welsh club. The former Coventry City and Liverpool FC winger has bagged six goals in his first seven games for the reigning Welsh champions since leaving Stockport County. And Saints boss Mike Davies has been quick to praise the 30-year-old, who is Michael Owen's brother-in-law."
"BRENTFORD boss Andy Scott has confirmed that former Coventry City captain Stephen Wright is training with the Bees this week. The former Liverpool and Sunderland right-back has been without a club since being told his contract at the Ricoh Arena was not being renewed in the summer. But the Bees have handed the veteran defender the chance to impress this week - as he seeks cover for his current right-back Michael Spillane."
"FORMER Coventry City striker Leon Best has been linked with a loan move to Crystal Palace. Best, 24, has struggled since joining Newcastle United from Coventry last season and boss Chris Hughton would like him to go out for a month for some first-team football, according to the Eastern Daily Press.The Nottingham-born Ireland international made 92 appearances for Coventry City from 2007-10 before joining Newcastle for £1m in February this year."
Matchday 10: The Hull highlights show
SBJ and yours truly went to Hull to check-in at a new stadium on ProperFan and see the King's return to his old stamping ground.
Champagne Express was nice, the view from the Box was nice, and SBJ took some nice pictures, which will hopefully appear here soon.
The game was drab and dreary. King failed a fitness test. Bullard was paid more than our starting 11 put together, and was the best player on the pitch. Gunner played well, everyone else did their jobs in an average way. Carsley left the centre circle to kick Bullard whenever he could, Klingon followed Bullard around kicking him whenever Carsley couldn't reach. And a nil nil was acheived.
We spent the night in Beverley. Don't know who was more surprised, Beverley or SBJ.
Champagne Express was nice, the view from the Box was nice, and SBJ took some nice pictures, which will hopefully appear here soon.
The game was drab and dreary. King failed a fitness test. Bullard was paid more than our starting 11 put together, and was the best player on the pitch. Gunner played well, everyone else did their jobs in an average way. Carsley left the centre circle to kick Bullard whenever he could, Klingon followed Bullard around kicking him whenever Carsley couldn't reach. And a nil nil was acheived.
We spent the night in Beverley. Don't know who was more surprised, Beverley or SBJ.
Scary Shef
Is he afraid that's his career that he just saw behind him? Or is he afraid of his punishment for swearing at AB after his winner last night? Maybe he's afraid that the BBC don't bother having library photographs of Championship players in their current club kit. Or maybe it's just a good impression of Emperor Palpatine.
Either way, a welcome 3 points - thank goodness for Little Shef.
Quite a tough-looking month and a bit on the horizon.
The Extrapolator is looking a tad neglected...
Preston at the Ricoh and King Marlon arrives
Rarely has so much controversy been stirred by the arrival of one man. King Marlon has managed to split opinion more than even the arrival of Gunner's mullet earlier in the year.
Should a convicted sex offender be given a chance to play top flight football again? Should he be given a chance to play for us first? Is he allowed to change with the Youth Team if needed? Can he play evening games? The debate has raged for weeks.
Now he's signed, and he made his debut on the bench against Preston.
Personally, I reckon he's shown himself not to be a nice man, he's been convicted, and he's served his time, so I reckon he's due another chance.
Anyway, Preston arrived, we gave them a goal from a corner, then they hit a cracking second from 25 yards just before half time. Oddly, we were playing well.
The King arrives from the bench, Gunnar gets a goal back and is immediately subbed, and we've got best part of half hour to win the game.
We don't. King Marlon however looked very good, and a class above the rest.
We lost, but we played pretty well, best I've seen this season.
Donny up next, we'll beat them. 3-1. That's my prediction
Should a convicted sex offender be given a chance to play top flight football again? Should he be given a chance to play for us first? Is he allowed to change with the Youth Team if needed? Can he play evening games? The debate has raged for weeks.
Now he's signed, and he made his debut on the bench against Preston.
Personally, I reckon he's shown himself not to be a nice man, he's been convicted, and he's served his time, so I reckon he's due another chance.
Anyway, Preston arrived, we gave them a goal from a corner, then they hit a cracking second from 25 yards just before half time. Oddly, we were playing well.
The King arrives from the bench, Gunnar gets a goal back and is immediately subbed, and we've got best part of half hour to win the game.
We don't. King Marlon however looked very good, and a class above the rest.
We lost, but we played pretty well, best I've seen this season.
Donny up next, we'll beat them. 3-1. That's my prediction
The Good Old Days
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/coventry-city-fc/coventry-city-fc-news/2010/09/14/cyrille-regis-autobiography-the-day-coventry-city-won-the-fa-cup-92746-27263985/
Oh, the memories - I'm grateful we were around to see that fleeting period.
Quite an interesting excerpt from Big C's autobiog, another one since published in the CT. Cup final week beers, weeing on the open-top bus, and the Bullseye-esque all-expenses paid trip to Magaluf - don't forget the £500 spending money (from memory, albeit hazy, there is only one thing to spend money on in Magaluf).
And loving the photos - including those much-missed tea cups and some strange tea-lady smiles, and John Barnes forgetting to wear his shorts.
Freddy's on the bus; and delusion
Clearly AB also thinks of wheels when referring to his injured striker - “His work-rate, attitude and willingness to chase lost causes has really impressed me and that’s why I definitely want him on the bus to be part of what we are trying to do here."
In other news, 3 home wins in 10 years against Whippet North End is rhubarb. Let's hope King's Coronation is right up our Street. 2 home games in 4 days - this time next week, Rodney, we could be 2nd in the league.
In other news, 3 home wins in 10 years against Whippet North End is rhubarb. Let's hope King's Coronation is right up our Street. 2 home games in 4 days - this time next week, Rodney, we could be 2nd in the league.
Matchday 5: Getting thumped 1-1 by Leicester at the Ricoh
Leicester came to play at the Ricoh, and little Jim made his first visit of the season to witness our new style team play with skill, passion and create a succession of golden opportunities.
Well, that was the optimistic prediction.
Didn't quite turn out like that. One way traffic for much of the game, and we were lucky to escape with a point. Chef limped off early doors, to be relaced by Comedy Roadshow, back in Aidy's thoughts after being in the doghouse for a while. A cracking cross was buried neatly by Plattini to give us a totally undeserved lead.
Second half saw Leicester continue to play nice attacking football, and we ended with that dynamic "three holding player midfield" of Mrs Doyle, Clingon and Centre Circle Carsley. Needless to say, we didn't threaten much, and didn't have another shot on target.
A point we didn't deserve, good atmosphere for most of it, and onwards to the third world on Tuesday night.
Well, that was the optimistic prediction.
Didn't quite turn out like that. One way traffic for much of the game, and we were lucky to escape with a point. Chef limped off early doors, to be relaced by Comedy Roadshow, back in Aidy's thoughts after being in the doghouse for a while. A cracking cross was buried neatly by Plattini to give us a totally undeserved lead.
Second half saw Leicester continue to play nice attacking football, and we ended with that dynamic "three holding player midfield" of Mrs Doyle, Clingon and Centre Circle Carsley. Needless to say, we didn't threaten much, and didn't have another shot on target.
A point we didn't deserve, good atmosphere for most of it, and onwards to the third world on Tuesday night.
A nice pert number two
News this morning that Aidy has a nice pert number two.
Martyn Pert is joining from Watford, but not to replace Steve Harry Harrison and his not so pert number twos.
In other news, continuing our David MacNamee sponsored "injured players we have known and occasionally loved" feature, Leon MacKenzie has joined the Cobblers over there along the M45. We wish him well in his quest to play more than two consecutive games.
12.30 kick off on Saturday, which is an early start from London
Martyn Pert is joining from Watford, but not to replace Steve Harry Harrison and his not so pert number twos.
In other news, continuing our David MacNamee sponsored "injured players we have known and occasionally loved" feature, Leon MacKenzie has joined the Cobblers over there along the M45. We wish him well in his quest to play more than two consecutive games.
12.30 kick off on Saturday, which is an early start from London
Millwall away
15 games without a win now at Millwall's 2 Dens.
SBJ, YDO, Sheila, Tim and assorted others made the trip to the Barrowboy & Banker before heading over to the lovely environs of South Bermondsey.
Vivienne banished to the bench as part of his love spat with Aidy. Very bad subsequent impact on the 5-man defensive 'unit'. Clingan thankfully back for Mrs Doyle. DJ Jukebox out injured, Wheels on his bench.
The 79 minutes I saw included one of / quite possibly the worst all-round performance from a centre back I have seen since David Rennie. Whatever Nathan Cameron apparently did right in my absence in the first 2 games of the season, this observer thought him dodgy, slow and unaware against Derby, and just plain not a professional footballer this time out. Massively unimpressed with his manager leaving him on for 90 minutes when so clearly having a stinker. As SBJ said of him, "Time for a rest". Keogh also looked as if he may be a League 1 defender at best.
Plattini did OK on his own despite 2 boys picking on him all game whilst the teacher turned a blind eye, and set up Gunnar for the one bright moment of the afternoon. The latter was replaced almost immediately for Wheels as the manager went 4-4-2 but Baker had 5 minutes of madness after which we handed the points to them without a whimper.
Very irritating all round.
Struggling Leicester up next, 100% home record needs extending.
SBJ, YDO, Sheila, Tim and assorted others made the trip to the Barrowboy & Banker before heading over to the lovely environs of South Bermondsey.
Vivienne banished to the bench as part of his love spat with Aidy. Very bad subsequent impact on the 5-man defensive 'unit'. Clingan thankfully back for Mrs Doyle. DJ Jukebox out injured, Wheels on his bench.
The 79 minutes I saw included one of / quite possibly the worst all-round performance from a centre back I have seen since David Rennie. Whatever Nathan Cameron apparently did right in my absence in the first 2 games of the season, this observer thought him dodgy, slow and unaware against Derby, and just plain not a professional footballer this time out. Massively unimpressed with his manager leaving him on for 90 minutes when so clearly having a stinker. As SBJ said of him, "Time for a rest". Keogh also looked as if he may be a League 1 defender at best.
Plattini did OK on his own despite 2 boys picking on him all game whilst the teacher turned a blind eye, and set up Gunnar for the one bright moment of the afternoon. The latter was replaced almost immediately for Wheels as the manager went 4-4-2 but Baker had 5 minutes of madness after which we handed the points to them without a whimper.
Very irritating all round.
Struggling Leicester up next, 100% home record needs extending.
Calm before the storm
While the YDO composes himself for a brief summary of the unsuccessful trip to Millwall, I thought it worth a few lines on today's skyblue news.
The waiting continues on the Marlon King signing. Just get it done with, it's taking longer than an enquiry into News of the World phone tapping.
Isaac still can't run apart from in a straight line, which sounds sadly like we may have seen the last of him at the Ricoh.
Calum Davenport is trying to resurrect his career with Wooton Blue Cross, in the UCL. Which is apparently a league, and not a college.
David McNamee is having a trial with Swindon - will he break down on the motorway, or at the training ground I wonder.
And we're selling Vivienne in January. No surprise there then.
Leicester up next, must check if they have moved the kick-off to breakfast time or sometime equally daft.
The waiting continues on the Marlon King signing. Just get it done with, it's taking longer than an enquiry into News of the World phone tapping.
Isaac still can't run apart from in a straight line, which sounds sadly like we may have seen the last of him at the Ricoh.
Calum Davenport is trying to resurrect his career with Wooton Blue Cross, in the UCL. Which is apparently a league, and not a college.
David McNamee is having a trial with Swindon - will he break down on the motorway, or at the training ground I wonder.
And we're selling Vivienne in January. No surprise there then.
Leicester up next, must check if they have moved the kick-off to breakfast time or sometime equally daft.
It's a funny old game - part 1 - Southampton FC
What do you get for a thumping 4-0 away win on Saturday?
If you're Alan Pardew, you get the sack this morning.
As "The Club" helpfully clarified:
"The club has decided that, to achieve its well known targets, it is essential to make changes to the management," said a Southampton statement.
"We recognise that frequent changes to the football management are unlikely to assist in the winning of trophies and promotions.
However, we are taking these steps to achieve our aims, which we share with all supporters, to get promoted this season, and secure long term stability and progress for our football operations."
So, frequent changes don't help, so let's sack the manager now and get it out of the way early doors.
Funny old game.
If you're Alan Pardew, you get the sack this morning.
As "The Club" helpfully clarified:
"The club has decided that, to achieve its well known targets, it is essential to make changes to the management," said a Southampton statement.
"We recognise that frequent changes to the football management are unlikely to assist in the winning of trophies and promotions.
However, we are taking these steps to achieve our aims, which we share with all supporters, to get promoted this season, and secure long term stability and progress for our football operations."
So, frequent changes don't help, so let's sack the manager now and get it out of the way early doors.
Funny old game.
Matchday 3 - Derby at the Ricoh
12.15 on a Saturday is never a good time to be playing football - it's just too early. Everyone's favourite pantomime villain came to play, and as usual, Robbie Savage didn't disappoint.
In front of a tiny crowd (recession, what recession? It was never like this under Labour), and live and exclusive on Sky Sports, Aidy's hotshots huffed, puffed and generally disappointed for 90 minutes. The Chef won a good penalty, which Scrabble thumped home, before Derby's makeshift centre forward scored while unmarked. Plattini came on and got stuck in to good effect, missing by inches. Vivienne clawed a certain goal out in one of his trademark "how did he save that" moments. Then Ten Burners got on the end of the King of the Centre Circle's deep cross, and the points were ours.
Top of the table briefly, then back to 4th.
Still not convincing, but it does take time for the team to gel, and they haven't as yet.
Lion's Den next up, with at least three of us braving the slums of South East London.
In front of a tiny crowd (recession, what recession? It was never like this under Labour), and live and exclusive on Sky Sports, Aidy's hotshots huffed, puffed and generally disappointed for 90 minutes. The Chef won a good penalty, which Scrabble thumped home, before Derby's makeshift centre forward scored while unmarked. Plattini came on and got stuck in to good effect, missing by inches. Vivienne clawed a certain goal out in one of his trademark "how did he save that" moments. Then Ten Burners got on the end of the King of the Centre Circle's deep cross, and the points were ours.
Top of the table briefly, then back to 4th.
Still not convincing, but it does take time for the team to gel, and they haven't as yet.
Lion's Den next up, with at least three of us braving the slums of South East London.
WAG Watch
Charlie is getting to know the other players’ wives and she’s in the process of getting a job.
She used to be in the cabin crew for Thomas Cook but had to give that up when I got my move to Carlisle.
She works in cosmetics now – she’s a really good make-up artist – and, touch wood, she could be starting work this week.
Matchday 2 - Watford Away
It's just a grim place. Even the 'Arry Krishnas were struggling to be cheerful in a wet Watford on Saturday. SBJ, H, G2, yours truly and Tim who needs a nickname, made the short journey up from London to watch Aidy's return to one of the worst stadiums we go to over the season. After finding each other (we need an app for that) in Mangans, we coughed up the £27 for a seat in a stand without a bar.
No Vivienne from the start, due a family bereavement. A fact which caused much confusion in a witty exchange of banter with the old lady in the row in front. Apparently Vivenne lives in Meridan, as she knows his milkman, and that's why he's not going to Celtic. Or something like that. So, a new goalkeeper, take a bow Iain Turner.
15 minutes into his one and only start for the skyblues, a bleeding, concussed, and very bewildered Turner was led off the pitch (see photo below). Take a bow Pauline Quirke, making his debut at the tender age of 18. And tender height of 5 foot 8. A warm reception from the travelling faithful was rewarded with a tip top save early one. This was then followed by a hashed clearance, and then a random wander towards a cross, leaving a simple header for the opening goal.
Not much going on up front at this point, Chef looked off the pace still, Freddy wasn't that mobile and Scrabble wasn't getting the right service.
Half time came and went. Then Eustace popped in an overhead kick from 15 yards. Not really much Pauline could have done about it, but we were looking dead and buried. Like most of the people we saw on Watford High Street earlier on.
60 minutes gone, Freddy and Chef are replaced by Plattini and Gunner. At last, some energy, some fight and a bit of threat. It surprised us. And surprised the referee more, who went off injured in sympathy.
88 minutes gone, the faithful were starting to drift away, presumably to beat the traffic as everyone in Watford realised there must be more to life and made their escape. Then Tinker picks up the ball, not literally, and lashes it past Englands third choice keeper. Dare we believe? Kick off, followed by a corner. Plattini complains to the ref about being held by a Hornet. Then the Giraffe takes a tumble, and Scrabble has the chance to put away a penalty.
We don't score last minute penalties though, do we. Or do we? Scrabble pops it in to the corner, and we're now looking for an injury time winner. Tinker goes close with a shot that's tipped over the bar, but we play out the 7 minutes of injury time, and finish with a point. Though it did feel like a win.
Revolution beckoned, blue drinks flowed, and Watford celebrated like only Watford can. Somewhere else.....
No Vivienne from the start, due a family bereavement. A fact which caused much confusion in a witty exchange of banter with the old lady in the row in front. Apparently Vivenne lives in Meridan, as she knows his milkman, and that's why he's not going to Celtic. Or something like that. So, a new goalkeeper, take a bow Iain Turner.
15 minutes into his one and only start for the skyblues, a bleeding, concussed, and very bewildered Turner was led off the pitch (see photo below). Take a bow Pauline Quirke, making his debut at the tender age of 18. And tender height of 5 foot 8. A warm reception from the travelling faithful was rewarded with a tip top save early one. This was then followed by a hashed clearance, and then a random wander towards a cross, leaving a simple header for the opening goal.
Not much going on up front at this point, Chef looked off the pace still, Freddy wasn't that mobile and Scrabble wasn't getting the right service.
Half time came and went. Then Eustace popped in an overhead kick from 15 yards. Not really much Pauline could have done about it, but we were looking dead and buried. Like most of the people we saw on Watford High Street earlier on.
60 minutes gone, Freddy and Chef are replaced by Plattini and Gunner. At last, some energy, some fight and a bit of threat. It surprised us. And surprised the referee more, who went off injured in sympathy.
88 minutes gone, the faithful were starting to drift away, presumably to beat the traffic as everyone in Watford realised there must be more to life and made their escape. Then Tinker picks up the ball, not literally, and lashes it past Englands third choice keeper. Dare we believe? Kick off, followed by a corner. Plattini complains to the ref about being held by a Hornet. Then the Giraffe takes a tumble, and Scrabble has the chance to put away a penalty.
We don't score last minute penalties though, do we. Or do we? Scrabble pops it in to the corner, and we're now looking for an injury time winner. Tinker goes close with a shot that's tipped over the bar, but we play out the 7 minutes of injury time, and finish with a point. Though it did feel like a win.
Revolution beckoned, blue drinks flowed, and Watford celebrated like only Watford can. Somewhere else.....
Match Day 1.5 Morecambe Away
Cast your minds back to 26th September 2007, and an away Carling Cup tie. Our team that day contained Ten Burners and Mrs Doyle from this season's crop of superstars. Old Trafford, 11,000 away fans and a Mifsud inspired 2-0 win.
Not going to be getting that sort of fun this year.
Ten changes from the Portsmouth game (Tinker, what did you do to upset the boss?) and our squad players go and lose 2-0.
Arson and Aidy obviously feel that we should be totally focused on the Championship, but part of me feels a little cheated. If we get promoted, then I'll forgive them. Otherwise, I'll remain a bit grumpy.
Onwards to Watford.
Not going to be getting that sort of fun this year.
Ten changes from the Portsmouth game (Tinker, what did you do to upset the boss?) and our squad players go and lose 2-0.
Arson and Aidy obviously feel that we should be totally focused on the Championship, but part of me feels a little cheated. If we get promoted, then I'll forgive them. Otherwise, I'll remain a bit grumpy.
Onwards to Watford.
Match Report 1: CCFC 2 Portsmouth 0
The season began with a visit from 15 blokes from the South Coast, 11 of whom were apparently professional footballers and had played in the Premier League last season, and 4 who they had found en route. Surprisingly given their financial situation they even arrived in a coach and not a mini-bus.
Our team showed a couple of surprises, with Dave Cameron making a debut at centreback and Mrs Doyle returning to add some bite to the midfield. Returning heroes Lee "I'll dominate the centre circle" Carsley, and the Chef himself made us all nostalgic for when we were a bit better, while a debut for Lucas King of Scrabble provided a focus for a potential long ball game.
Within three minutes, our new freescoring striker emerged, scuffing a shot from 4 yards out through the Pompey keeper's legs. Take a bow Freddy, a man who has succumbed to Aidy's mind games and rediscovered the form he had before he scored 12 in 91 games in a skyblue shirt.
Then it got all comfortable. Portsmouth defenders kicked the ball into touch a lot, passed badly to each other, and played through balls to Vivienne. Nobody passed to David Nugent (he played for England once), so he had a series of strops and tantrums to show how much he cared. And that bloke with the tattoos and the bell made a lot of noise in the away end.
Second half, Scrabble flicks on nicely, Tinker clips in a cross with "head me in" written all over it, and Freddy soars like a soaring thing to power in his second goal.
And that was about it. Apart from Utaka getting the loudest booing from his own fans that the Ricoh has ever witnessed. And Platt getting a home substitute debut, and getting involved a bit - jury is out on him still.
So, a good solid comfortable win against a team who will be in the bottom three come May.
What did we learn?
Freddy likes Aidy.
Carsley does a solid job but doesn't run very far.
Doyle still kicks people.
The Chef is in need of a run of games to rediscover his form.
Cameron looked very solid.
Keogh likes to get forward, cut inside and shoot.
Bell looked good again.
Scrabble was promising.
McIndoe must be leaving soon.
Onwards to game two.
Our team showed a couple of surprises, with Dave Cameron making a debut at centreback and Mrs Doyle returning to add some bite to the midfield. Returning heroes Lee "I'll dominate the centre circle" Carsley, and the Chef himself made us all nostalgic for when we were a bit better, while a debut for Lucas King of Scrabble provided a focus for a potential long ball game.
Within three minutes, our new freescoring striker emerged, scuffing a shot from 4 yards out through the Pompey keeper's legs. Take a bow Freddy, a man who has succumbed to Aidy's mind games and rediscovered the form he had before he scored 12 in 91 games in a skyblue shirt.
Then it got all comfortable. Portsmouth defenders kicked the ball into touch a lot, passed badly to each other, and played through balls to Vivienne. Nobody passed to David Nugent (he played for England once), so he had a series of strops and tantrums to show how much he cared. And that bloke with the tattoos and the bell made a lot of noise in the away end.
Second half, Scrabble flicks on nicely, Tinker clips in a cross with "head me in" written all over it, and Freddy soars like a soaring thing to power in his second goal.
And that was about it. Apart from Utaka getting the loudest booing from his own fans that the Ricoh has ever witnessed. And Platt getting a home substitute debut, and getting involved a bit - jury is out on him still.
So, a good solid comfortable win against a team who will be in the bottom three come May.
What did we learn?
Freddy likes Aidy.
Carsley does a solid job but doesn't run very far.
Doyle still kicks people.
The Chef is in need of a run of games to rediscover his form.
Cameron looked very solid.
Keogh likes to get forward, cut inside and shoot.
Bell looked good again.
Scrabble was promising.
McIndoe must be leaving soon.
Onwards to game two.
It was the night before the season opener, what does the crystal ball say?
So, we're just over 24 hours away from kick-off, and our pre-season optimism is at its peak.
Time to look in our crystal ball and make those Mystic Fan predictions.
Final League position: 6th
Points won: 76
Goals Scored: 68
Goals Conceded: 49
FA Cup: Fifth Round
Carling Cup: Third Round
Top Goalscorer: Lucas 100 points at Scrabble
Player of the Season: The Chef
Flop of the Season: Comedy Roadshow
Largest Transfer fee received: Vivienne in January.
Worst kept secret signing: Marlon "He's no" King.
PUSB.
Time to look in our crystal ball and make those Mystic Fan predictions.
Final League position: 6th
Points won: 76
Goals Scored: 68
Goals Conceded: 49
FA Cup: Fifth Round
Carling Cup: Third Round
Top Goalscorer: Lucas 100 points at Scrabble
Player of the Season: The Chef
Flop of the Season: Comedy Roadshow
Largest Transfer fee received: Vivienne in January.
Worst kept secret signing: Marlon "He's no" King.
PUSB.
Franky Larry
| Name: | Francis Laurent |
| Nationality: | French |
| Date of Birth: | 06/01/1986 |
| Height: | 6' 3" (191cm) |
| Weight: | 14st 0lbs (89.0kg) |
| Previous | |
| Clubs: | Mainz, Le Havre |
| Position: | Striker |
Southend United made a rare foray into the foreign market at the end of August 2008, with the signing of French striker Francis Laurent.
Laurent was plying his trade in the German Bundesliga Second Division last season with FSV Mainz 05 where he made six appearances. The 6ft 3ins tall forward's résumé also includes spending time in Germany with SV Eintracht Trier 05, as well as French outfits Sochaux and Beauvais. Laurent joined the Blues on a free transfer, after he impressed the management in a behind closed door fixture against Fulham, and scored four goals last season.
Season 2009 - 10
| Competition | Apps (as sub) | Goals | Yellow Cards | Red Cards |
| League | 28 (7) | 6 | 4 | 0 |
| FA Cup | 1 (0) | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Career History: | ||||
| Club | Season | Comp. | Apps (as sub) | Goals |
| Southend | 2008 - 09 | League | 10 (11) | 3 |
| FA Cup | 2 (1) | 1 | ||
| Mainz | 2007 - 08 | League | 0 (5) | 0 |
| Le Havre | 2005 - 06 | League | 0 (3) | 0 |
Up or Down? Or neither? Crystal ball time
Start of season optimism or pessimism?
Will we push for the play offs? Or will we struggle to find the right blend and go out of the league the wrong way.
Odds on winning the League - minimum 33-1
Odds on getting promotion - minimum 10-1
Odds on relegation - 5-1
So, the bookies have a clear view on where we are going.
Tony Cascarino though has tipped us today to be the surprise package of the division.
Hope that makes everything a little clearer. Currently we are in 5th position, looking safe for the play-offs.
What is the point of Rod Liddle?
For those of you not familiar with Rod Liddle, he writes for The Sunday Times and is a bit like half a Jeremy Clarkson. A Millwall fan who presents himself a bit like Danny Dyer's dad.
I've never liked the way he writes, or often what he says.
Anyway, he's tipping us today, indeed "fervently hoping" that we get relegated this season, as he doesn't like us. Good, my prejudice has been vindicated. Rod, just in case there's any doubt, I don't like you either. Here's hoping John Witherow relegates you at the end of the season as well.
Short trip down memory lane
Cast your minds back to March 2005, coming towards the end of our time at Highfield Road. It may seem like a different era, but it was only five and a half years and five complete seasons ago.
Today I stumbled across a programme from our home game on 12th March 2005 against Cardiff City. I very nearly threw it away, but then wondered who was in the team that day. I wonder, thought I, how many of the squad then were still on the books now?
We had one manager and thirty players on the squadlist on that Spring day. How many of the 31 are still with us as we enter our tenth season in the Championship?
Three.
How many have been with us without interruptions?
One. Take a bow Mr Isaac Osbourne. Michael Doyle went off to chase whippets, McChef went off down the A45 for a rest.
I know we've not had much of a settled team, but that strikes me as excessive to say the least.
Out of that 2005 squad, who could we have seen proudly stumbling around like a drunk at closing time?
In goal - Ian Bennett
At the back - Steve Staunton, Robert Page, Ady Williams and Dean Leacock
In midfield - Tim Sherwood, Neil "made of" Wood, Graham Barrett and Craig Pead
Up front - Trevor Benjamin and Eddie Johnson
OK, we also had Stern, Dele, Richard Shaw and Stephen Hughes, but there wasn't half some real rubbish playing.
On that basis, we've moved on in five years. PUSB and thanks to Arson Yarn.
OMFG
I was just googling Martin Cranie for this here blog when these two astonishing pictures turned up. The latter involves David Nugent apparently...
Meet the gang 'cos the boys are here the boys to entertain you. Pt 4 - Lukas Jutkiewicz
Surely this one isn't Irish too?
No. He's from Southampton.
What is he like? What's he like anway?
Well he wasn't born when Neneh Cherry sang that line in Buffalo Stance. He's a welcome return to the young player recruitment policy that landed us Danny Fox and Scott Dann...
He says he's not a traditional goalscorer - any evidence?
And what does the online oracle have to say?
"Lukas Isaac Paul Jutkiewicz (born 28 March 1989 in Southampton) is an English football player who plays for Championship side Coventry City after signing from Everton for a undisclosed fee rumoured to be in the region of £200,000 on 26 July 2010.
Club career
Swindon Town
Jutkiewicz made his Swindon Town debut at the age of 17, as a substitute in a 2–1 defeat at Swansea's Liberty Stadium in April 2006. A week later, he had his first start in a 2–1 win at Scunthorpe United. Jutkiewicz signed a three year contract in July 2006. He was patient for his introduction to the first team in 2006–07, but finally made his first league start of the season in Swindon's 2–0 defeat to Mansfield. The next game, against top of the table Walsall, saw Jutkiewicz score his first senior goal in Swindon's victory. He went on to score four more goals during the 2006–07 season to help the club gain promotion to League One.
Everton
On 17 March 2007, Jutkiewicz joined Everton for a £1m fee.He joined up with the club for pre-season training in July 2007, and was handed the number 27 shirt – previously worn by Andy van der Meyde.
In January 2008, Plymouth Argyle signed Jutkiewicz on loan until the end of the 2007–08 season. Here he worked under his former boss at Swindon, Paul Sturrock.He made his debut for the Pilgrims three days later in their 3–2 FA Cup victory over Hull City, coming on as an 85th minute substitute.
The 2008–09 season saw Jutkiewicz make his Everton debut, coming on as a substitute in a 3–0 victory over Sunderland in December 2008. The following month he was again sent out on loan, to Huddersfield Town, until the end of the season.He made his first start for Huddersfield in a 1–0 win over Leeds United in February 2009 but made little impression overall, failing to find the net in his loan spell.
Motherwell
In August 2009, Jutkiewicz joined Scottish Premier League side Motherwell on loan until January 2010. Jutkiewicz scored his first goal for the Fir Park outfit against St. Mirren. In January 2010, his Motherwell loan period to was extended to the end of the season.[6] On 5 May, he won the man-of-the-match award in the highest-scoring match in SPL history against Hibernian[7] He scored an outstanding injury-time goal from a tight angle to make it 6–6 and keep alive his team's hopes of a Europa League spot.He had been playing through a knee injury incurred three months earlier and was praised for his determination by manager Craig Brown who also described the goal as "van Basten-like". However, it was not considered for goal-of-the-season because the award had already been presented to Anthony Stokes a month before the end of the season.On 9 May 2010, just four days after that memorable game, Jutkiewicz converted a penalty in injury time to get a 3–3 draw against Rangers at Ibrox. He netted a total of 11 goals during his time with Motherwell.
Coventry City
In mid-July 2010 Coventry City tried to sign Jutkiewicz on loan but the bid was rejected by Everton as they were looking to offload him on a permanent basis. Aidy Boothroyd came back in with an offer to buy Jutkiewicz on a permanent basis a week later, The bid was accepted and Jutkiewicz moved to Coventry City for an undiclosed fee, signing a three year deal.
International career
In addition to his country of birth, England, Jutkiewicz is also eligible to play for the Republic of Ireland through his mother, and Poland by way of his Polish grandfather, however, the player has made no decision."
And does he look silly in our wretched home kit? Sadly yes...
Meet the gang 'cos the boys are here the boys to entertain you. Pt 3 - Roy O'Donovan
Ok - what does this one look like? A million different people from one day to the next to be honest...
Has he played against Chelsea at Zero gravity?
Did we have to beat teams off with a stick to get him?
"Southampton linked with Sunderland's Roy O'Donovan
1:27pm Tuesday 4th May 2010
SAINTS have been linked with Sunderland striker Roy O’Donovan.Alan Pardew revealed after the weekend defeat at Gillingham that he would be stepping up his efforts to sign a new striker in the summer.....Colchester boss Aidy Boothroyd has already confirmed his interest in signing O’Donovan, who is currently on loan at Saints’ League One rivals Hartlepool.The 24-year-old has netted nine times in 14 league games for Pools, including two in a 3-1 win against Colchester last month."
Was he alive when Killer went up to lift the FA Cup? He was indeed almost 2 years old. From wikipedia:
"Roy Simon O'Donovan (born 10 August 1985) is an Irish footballer who plays for Football League Championship side Coventry City. He has been capped for his country at Under-19, Under-21 and B level.
Club career
O'Donovan played schoolboy football for Leeds A.F.C. Cork, and Blarney Street in Cork. In 2001 he signed for English club Coventry City as a trainee, before being released in December 2004 without making a first team appearance for the club.
Cork City
O'Donovan moved back to Ireland and joined his hometown club Cork City in early 2005. In his first season at Cork City they captured the League of Irelandstriker, becoming the top goalscorer in the League of Ireland. He was named the eircom/Soccer Writers Association of Ireland (SWAI) Player of the Month for November 2005 and won the award again in November 2006 after being switched to centre forward from midfield, he was also a nominee for the Soccer Writers Association of Ireland (SWAI) player of the year the same season.
On 21 November it was reported that Wolverhampton Wanderers were interested in signing O'Donovan, but that they were denied permission to speak to him about a move by Cork City. On 7 July 2007, he scored as Cork City drew 1–1 with Swedish Allsvenskan club Hammarby in the second round of the 2007 Intertoto Cup.He scored a total of 31 league goals in 74 league appearances for the club, as well as 2 goals in European competitions
Sunderland
In July 2007, Fulham agreed a fee with Cork City to sign O'Donovan,however, Roy Keane signed him for Sunderland on 7 August for an League of Ireland record transfer fee of €500,000, with O'Donovan saying, "I had a choice between Fulham and Sunderland but when I spoke to the gaffer [Roy Keane] my mind was made up." The fee can increase to €1 million depending on appearances for club and country. He signed a three-year contract,reportedly worth €8,000 a week. He made his Premier League debut for Sunderland as a 70th minute substitute in the 2–2 draw with Birmingham City at St Andrew's on 15 August.His first start of the season came on 21 October in the 3–1 defeat to West Ham United at Upton Park, although he was substituted in the 46th minute. O'Donovan made seventeen appearances for the Black Cats in the 2007–08 season, starting just four times. His first goal for Sunderland came in a pre-season against Portuguese Liga club Sporting Clube de Portugal on 20 July 2008.
Dundee United
On 8 August 2008, he signed a one-year loan deal with Dundee United. He made his debut for the Tangerines on 11 August in a 3–1 defeat to Hamilton Academical at New Douglas Park.He scored his first goal in a 2–0 home win over St Mirren on 25 October, after coming on as a 67th minute substitute: the goal was a memorable one, coming in front of a full stadium of supporters who had turned up to commemorate the passing of the popular club chairman Eddie Thompson.On 1 November, he was sent off in the 57th minute of the 0–0 draw against Falkirk at the Falkirk Stadium. However, he failed to win back his place in the side following suspension and in late December he was one of three players along with Michael Chopra and Anthony Stokes recalled by Sunderland who were struggling with injuries.
Blackpool
On 9 January 2009, he signed for Championship club Blackpool on loan until the end of the season. He made his debut for the Seasiders in the 2–1 defeat to Coventry City at the Ricoh Arena on 17 January. What had been a successful loan spell up to this point took a turn for the worse when on 10 March, he was taken to hospital after being taken ill with suspected appendicitis before Blackpool's game against Sheffield United at Bramall Lane. Two days later he had keyhole surgery to remove his appendix. He returned to action on 11 April in Blackpool's 1–0 West Lancashire Derby win over Preston North End at Deepdale. He retained his place in the side for the following game a 2 – 2 draw against play – off hopefuls Reading F.C.
Southend United
On 16 September 2009, O'Donovan joined Southend United on an one month loan deal. He scored on his debut against Brighton & Hove Albion, in the 3–2 win. O'Donovan made a further two league appearances plus one in the Football League Trophy before returning to Sunderland once the loan was completed.
Hartlepool United
On 23 February 2010, he joined Hartlepool United on loan until the end of the 2009–10 season. He made his debut for Hartlepool in their 4–1 home win over Carlisle United on 23 February 2010. On 6 March 2010, he scored his first goals for Hartlepool, a hat-trick against Southend, who he was with at the beginning of the season.O'Donovan went on to make 15 appearance scoring 9 goals before returning to parent club Sunderland at the end of the season.
Coventry City
O'Donovan signed a three–year deal with Coventry City on 25 June 2010 becoming new manager Aidy Boothroyd's third signing of the close season. He officially transferred to Coventry on 1 July 2010, five years after leaving them as an academy youth player.
Does he look ridiculous in our absurdly ill-fitting home kit? Youbetchya...
Consistency
Just updating the goals per game panel (now on your left hand side) and noticed the following horrifying stats:
1.0217 CCFC 08/09 (17th)
1.0217 CCFC 06/07 (17th)
1.0217 CCFC 09/10 (19th)
1.0000 CCFC 07/08 (21st)
In other words in 3 out of the last 4 seasons we have scored 47 goals in our 46 games - and in the other season we managed 46. Without Morrison and Best and on the basis of the scoring form so far in the pre-season perhaps we should be begging Marlon King to join.
1.0217 CCFC 08/09 (17th)
1.0217 CCFC 06/07 (17th)
1.0217 CCFC 09/10 (19th)
1.0000 CCFC 07/08 (21st)
In other words in 3 out of the last 4 seasons we have scored 47 goals in our 46 games - and in the other season we managed 46. Without Morrison and Best and on the basis of the scoring form so far in the pre-season perhaps we should be begging Marlon King to join.
Meet the gang 'cos the boys are here the boys to entertain you. Pt 2 - Richard Keogh
First off what does he look like? Slightly terrifying might be the best description...
Is he really our player? Sky don't seem to think so...
| Carlisle United | Unassigned Players | 1 Jul 2010 | Contract Ended |
| Bristol City | Carlisle United | 20 Aug 2008 | Undisclosed |
| Bristol City | Cheltenham Town | 10 Mar 2008 | Loan : Expired |
| Bristol City | Carlisle United | 21 Nov 2007 | Loan : Expired |
| Bristol City | Huddersfield Town | 31 Aug 2007 | Loan : Expired |
| Bristol City | Wycombe Wanderers | 9 Nov 2005 | On Loan |
| Stoke City | Bristol City | 22 Jul 2005 | Free Transfer |
Was he alive when we last won something? He was indeed! From Wikipedia:
Richard John Keogh (born August 11, 1986 in Harlow) is an Irish footballerdefender who plays for Football League Championship side Coventry City.
Club career
Bristol City
Bristol City
Having been a schoolboy in Ipswich Town's academy and a ballboy at Portman Road, Keogh moved on to the Stoke City youth set-up but was released and joined up with Bristol City before the start of the 2005/2006 campaign. He also rejected a move to Burnley. In his first season, Brian Tinnion, who had signed Keogh, left the club. He was replaced by Gary Johnson who loaned him to Wycombe Wanderers. He then began to establish himself in city's first team plans and scored against Walsall. He began the 2006-2007 season with the same form as the previous season, and replaced Bradley Orr after his red card against Northampton Town and later imprisonment. He scored his second City goal against Gillingham. He later captained the Republic Of Ireland Under 21's in October 2006 and was voted Bristol City's "Young Player of the Year" for the 2006-07 season.
Huddersfield Town
On August 31, 2007, he joined Huddersfield Town on loan and made his debut on 1 September 2007 against Millwall. On September 15, he scored his first goal for Huddersfield in a 3-2 defeat at home to Cheltenham Town at the Galpharm Stadium. He returned to Bristol City on 29 October following Huddersfield's decision not to extend his loan.
Carlisle United
On November 19, 2007 he joined Carlisle United on loan. The loan lasted until January 1, 2008, with a recall option after 28 days of the loan period. On January 4, 2008 he returned to Bristol City after negotiations to extend / make permanent his loan collapsed.
Cheltenham Town
On March 10, 2008, he joined League One side Cheltenham Town on loan and made his debut in their 2-1 win over Leeds United at Elland Road the following day.
Carlisle United
On August 20, 2008 Keogh returned to Carlisle United on a permanent transfer from Bristol City for an undisclosed sum. Keogh became somewhat of a cult hero at Brunton Park, with one group of supporters carrying a giant 'In Keogh We Trust' banner across the country in support of Carlisle United.
Coventry City
Keogh signed a three–year deal with Coventry City on 29 June 2010 becoming the fourth close season signing for new manager Aidy Boothroyd. He officially transferred to Coventry on 1 July 2010 after his contract with Carlisle United had expired, because Keogh was under the age of 24 compensation was to be paid for the transfer, however, this was to remain undisclosed.
External links Richard Keogh's career stats at Soccerbase
External links Richard Keogh's career stats at Soccerbase
And does he look daft in the flowered-collared kit? But of course...
And finally is there a really really scary picture of him being signed by Ray Ranson? You might very well think that...
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