3 match reports to get through, and so little time to type.
Forest at home saw two teams who can't defend play to their weaknesses. Oh Lord scuffed a shot in after 90 seconds, then our makeshift back 4 - missing Dann, Fox and a right back - let the mighty midget Earnshaw score with a diving header. So low, he ploughed a lone furrow up front with his nose. More reasons scored from a corner, then they scored from a free kick. Then the remaining 25 minutes was end to end, with neither team managing to score, despite some Keystone Cops moments. 2-2 and a point a fair result.
Then came Charlton away which myself and Eamon saw. Though Eamon, being Eamon, only saw half a game. The highlights, a loud away following, Homer getting a goal, and Fox popping a 30 yard free kick into the top corner at our end. 2-1 away victory against a club who have fallen so far, so quickly. It was only 7 months ago they thrashed us 4-1 on the final day of the season. Right now, they couldn't even thrash Max Moseley.
Watford away, and SBJ made the trip in the rain. I'm hoping he will post something, as all I know is that they got a penalty, More Reasons got a touch on Superhobbits shot, and they scored again. A 2-1 defeat away from home.
This weekend - Ipswich at the Ricoh, where we haven't won in two months. A confident 4-0 thrashing is therefore predicted.
Match Report - Swansea at home - No right backs left
Tuesday night, and for the first time in 25 years, Swansea came to town.
Matt was there. In the Afternoon and Sharon both went off injured in the first half, leaving us without a fit right back in the entire squad. A loan signing must be sorted out by the end of the week, so we hope that Ray's on the ball as we type.
One all, two free kicks, lots of passing the ball, much improved on the last couple of games, and a point from a home game, which had become a rarity.
Reading away is next, to be watched at SBJ's bachelor pad, on Monday evening. Prediction, 1-2.
Matt was there. In the Afternoon and Sharon both went off injured in the first half, leaving us without a fit right back in the entire squad. A loan signing must be sorted out by the end of the week, so we hope that Ray's on the ball as we type.
One all, two free kicks, lots of passing the ball, much improved on the last couple of games, and a point from a home game, which had become a rarity.
Reading away is next, to be watched at SBJ's bachelor pad, on Monday evening. Prediction, 1-2.
Sheffield Wednesday away - Match Report
Last season saw us travel away in style to watch a 1-1 draw.
This season, none of us were able or enthused sufficiently to make the effort.
To reward us for our loyalty, the Sky Blues pinched a 1-0 away win, with More Reasons popping in a header from the edge of the box, and Vivienne building on his growing reputation with some smart saves.
3 points in front of the lowest home crowd in 6 years. Never let it be said that we're not a crowd-puller playing this type of football.
Back to the Ricoh tomorrow night, where Matt at least will be watching a 2-1 win over Swansea.
This season, none of us were able or enthused sufficiently to make the effort.
To reward us for our loyalty, the Sky Blues pinched a 1-0 away win, with More Reasons popping in a header from the edge of the box, and Vivienne building on his growing reputation with some smart saves.
3 points in front of the lowest home crowd in 6 years. Never let it be said that we're not a crowd-puller playing this type of football.
Back to the Ricoh tomorrow night, where Matt at least will be watching a 2-1 win over Swansea.
Match Report - Plymouth Argyle at home
Heartache comes in many forms, and right now we seem to be experiencing most of them. Plymouth came to the Ricoh, in a "fetching and brave orange and green outfit" as G2 described it, or "away kit" as she was quickly informed.
After his shocking performance against Palace, Melts in your mouth had gamefully pulled something in training, and Homer stepped painfully into his tiny boots. More Reasons carried on up front, and Mrs Doyle was back serving tea and tackling back in midfield. In theory, a slower but more robust team than last week, looking to turn the season around before we're fighting Forest, Doncaster and Southampton for 24th place.
The game was ok. We looked alright, but lacked creativity. It's less than 48 hours since kick-off, and I've already forgotten the details, but we went into half time level. The referee had been advised politely to look up the definition of the word "consistency" during half time, following a random performance in the first 45 minutes. In the Corporate lounge, the new cashless bar forgot to charge me for drinks, which wasn't what I expected a cashless bar to do, and the half time beef batch was ok, but not as good as last week's port and stuffing offering.
In the second half, we did ok, More Reasons missed a sitter after good work from Homer, who I thought was probably man of the match. The referee, who had mis-heard the advice and had been looking at "inconsistent" throughout half time, had been booking players left, right and centre, and ignoring yellow cards offences in exactly the same places for the entire half, leaving me for one wondering what the correct Monica is for consistently inconsistent?
Then with 3 minutes to go, No-one, who was just on as a sub, went on a mazy run and Sharon forgot to tackle him, leaving Vivienne grasping at thin air. Daylight robbery. Could it get any worse?
Well, yes. 93rd minute, Vivienne goes up for a corner, using his huge 5 foot eleven frame to strike fear and chaos into the large Plymouth centre backs. Until this point I hadn't realised just how slow he was in a sprint. As the ball was played over his head and Plymouth broke away from inside their own half, two on one, with only an empty goal and a Hobbit guarding it, I realised that his pace was reminiscent of Jan Molby in his prime (beef).
Somehow, No-one managed to miss an open goal. We laughed so much we failed to hear the final whistle. Game over.
The Coalman after the game was visibly annoyed, but his view that we are low on confidence, and the only way to regain confidence was to win again, did smack slightly of stating the bleeding obvious.
A poor show, but better than Palace at home. Same number of points though. Something needs to change, and quickly
After his shocking performance against Palace, Melts in your mouth had gamefully pulled something in training, and Homer stepped painfully into his tiny boots. More Reasons carried on up front, and Mrs Doyle was back serving tea and tackling back in midfield. In theory, a slower but more robust team than last week, looking to turn the season around before we're fighting Forest, Doncaster and Southampton for 24th place.
The game was ok. We looked alright, but lacked creativity. It's less than 48 hours since kick-off, and I've already forgotten the details, but we went into half time level. The referee had been advised politely to look up the definition of the word "consistency" during half time, following a random performance in the first 45 minutes. In the Corporate lounge, the new cashless bar forgot to charge me for drinks, which wasn't what I expected a cashless bar to do, and the half time beef batch was ok, but not as good as last week's port and stuffing offering.
In the second half, we did ok, More Reasons missed a sitter after good work from Homer, who I thought was probably man of the match. The referee, who had mis-heard the advice and had been looking at "inconsistent" throughout half time, had been booking players left, right and centre, and ignoring yellow cards offences in exactly the same places for the entire half, leaving me for one wondering what the correct Monica is for consistently inconsistent?
Then with 3 minutes to go, No-one, who was just on as a sub, went on a mazy run and Sharon forgot to tackle him, leaving Vivienne grasping at thin air. Daylight robbery. Could it get any worse?
Well, yes. 93rd minute, Vivienne goes up for a corner, using his huge 5 foot eleven frame to strike fear and chaos into the large Plymouth centre backs. Until this point I hadn't realised just how slow he was in a sprint. As the ball was played over his head and Plymouth broke away from inside their own half, two on one, with only an empty goal and a Hobbit guarding it, I realised that his pace was reminiscent of Jan Molby in his prime (beef).
Somehow, No-one managed to miss an open goal. We laughed so much we failed to hear the final whistle. Game over.
The Coalman after the game was visibly annoyed, but his view that we are low on confidence, and the only way to regain confidence was to win again, did smack slightly of stating the bleeding obvious.
A poor show, but better than Palace at home. Same number of points though. Something needs to change, and quickly
Regis Geneaux RIP
News reaches us that former Sky Blue Regis Geneaux has died at the really young age of 35.
Tragic to die so young.
Tragic to die so young.
Crystal Palace at the Ricoh
Bears like the woods, the Pope likes many children and Palace always win at the Ricoh. It's the law, and it happened again.
The same line up for the Sky Blues that triumphed at Birmingham, but someone had sapped their will to compete (and ours to live by just after half time).
We were poor throughout, passes went astray, our chickens seemed to be headless, and we just didn't create enough. We made Palace look good and conceded two from free kicks. The Malteser had his worst game ever in a sky blue shirt, giving the ball away consistently, falling over and losing his boots at inappropriate moments.
Coleman looked frustrated, my mother starting reading the programme during the second half for entertainment, and the full time whistle was a blessing.
Enough despair, we have Plymouth at home next weekend, it has to be better than this.
The same line up for the Sky Blues that triumphed at Birmingham, but someone had sapped their will to compete (and ours to live by just after half time).
We were poor throughout, passes went astray, our chickens seemed to be headless, and we just didn't create enough. We made Palace look good and conceded two from free kicks. The Malteser had his worst game ever in a sky blue shirt, giving the ball away consistently, falling over and losing his boots at inappropriate moments.
Coleman looked frustrated, my mother starting reading the programme during the second half for entertainment, and the full time whistle was a blessing.
Enough despair, we have Plymouth at home next weekend, it has to be better than this.
And so, we're back...
Said entire visiting entourage having seemingly gone missing at exactly the same time as our charges, it appears to be time to relight our blogging fire and get down on it again.
To clear up some business from days of yore, I am pleased to announce the winner of our inaugural caption competition from the Preston game in September. Despite a valiant effort from Jim, the judging panel (consisting of the the YDO) felt that the former's entry, being a variation on an existing theme, lacked the originality of the winning entry, which came from the YDO.
The YDO has been selflessly missing games in the fashion of a Michael Doyle shot (namely left, right, and centre), due to scouting efforts, which have also enabled the Falcons to strengthen their squad. Any match reports will therefore have to come from elsewhere.
More Reasons has fortunately found his feet and his shooting boots and enabled us to go on a 3-game unbeaten streak, with a little help from the lack of technology which still mystifies myself, and doubtless the ghost of Michael Hutchence.
Hotel Lana last night established itself last night as the current preferred venue for watching televised away victories and every effort should be made to re-convene there for the Reading game, on which day the currently free-scoring Royals' strikeforce shall hopefully be in receipt of no aid from the Coalman's defence.
To clear up some business from days of yore, I am pleased to announce the winner of our inaugural caption competition from the Preston game in September. Despite a valiant effort from Jim, the judging panel (consisting of the the YDO) felt that the former's entry, being a variation on an existing theme, lacked the originality of the winning entry, which came from the YDO.
The YDO has been selflessly missing games in the fashion of a Michael Doyle shot (namely left, right, and centre), due to scouting efforts, which have also enabled the Falcons to strengthen their squad. Any match reports will therefore have to come from elsewhere.
More Reasons has fortunately found his feet and his shooting boots and enabled us to go on a 3-game unbeaten streak, with a little help from the lack of technology which still mystifies myself, and doubtless the ghost of Michael Hutchence.
Hotel Lana last night established itself last night as the current preferred venue for watching televised away victories and every effort should be made to re-convene there for the Reading game, on which day the currently free-scoring Royals' strikeforce shall hopefully be in receipt of no aid from the Coalman's defence.
Match Day 9ish - Southampton (and the international break)
A 4-1 win vs Southampton live on Sky saw us leap to 6th. Highlight was a much better display all round going forward, with Wheels on the house having an excellent game, and the Superhobbit scoring two good goals. Oh Lord's penalty miss would have been hysterically funny had he been playing for someone else.
6th is good, but we're also 3 points off 18th.
A mad division.
Next up, Wolves away on the 18th, which deserves a visit if the train times are kind.
We will see.
So far, the entire visiting entourage has spectacularly failed to attend a match in numbers, maybe this will be the first time this year. Though Matt, recently engaged, is otherwise engaged.
6th is good, but we're also 3 points off 18th.
A mad division.
Next up, Wolves away on the 18th, which deserves a visit if the train times are kind.
We will see.
So far, the entire visiting entourage has spectacularly failed to attend a match in numbers, maybe this will be the first time this year. Though Matt, recently engaged, is otherwise engaged.
If looks could kill...
So Caption Competition time - what is Mrs Doyle thinking and what has Lah-Di-Dah Gunnar said to Leon?
Gunnar Chucker
Obviously not the same throw-in... I shall work on perfecting the photo technique for the Cardiff game.
Jaywatch - Episode 2
In this episode our hero gets booked and then clobbered. Not the best of games again from JT - to adapt the infamous CT headline - Is Jay Tabb fit?
Life is a rollercoaster
In the absence of a Blackpool marathon to photograph we will have to make do with these visual prompts for a cliche to describe the football season.
The only pub with its own timezone...
So it's NOON on Saturday at The Manchester pub and we are festooned with Hen Parties also watching Liverpool beat Everton while a full-on DJ plays Twist and Shout for da Sky Blues in da house every half hour and spikes it up with a dancey version of the Sky Blue Song itself. This is where all the dark matter in the Universe is - locked up in a parallel world on Blackpool prom.
Pre-match build up - Blackpool away
Friday afternoon sees the first weekend away trip on its way.
C, G2 and Jim (Old not Young) will be in Blackpool for tomorrow's away game against the Tangerines.
The champagne express leaves Euston at 18.08. The finest bars, clubs, grounds and take-aways in Blackpool lie in wait over the next 48 hours.
And a 1-2 win, with Freddy getting the winner in the 85th minute.
We will be posting throughout the weekend, using the power of the mobile.....
C, G2 and Jim (Old not Young) will be in Blackpool for tomorrow's away game against the Tangerines.
The champagne express leaves Euston at 18.08. The finest bars, clubs, grounds and take-aways in Blackpool lie in wait over the next 48 hours.
And a 1-2 win, with Freddy getting the winner in the 85th minute.
We will be posting throughout the weekend, using the power of the mobile.....
5 points from 9, and ball boys
As I write this our charges have mercifully just held off the challenge of our former leader's Shepherd's Bush gazillionnaires, thanks to an Oh Lord penalty.
The YDO was in attendance at last week's entertainment-fest against Preston, a match notable for so many exciting incidents that I can recall none of them, with the exception of the hilarious incompetence of the new Cashless Card system now in place at the hallowed Ricoh. Fortunately thanks to JL's absence I did not have to outlay for the pleasure of witnessing the dour goalless draw between 2 decidedly average teams (as they will be every game this season, one feels).
YDO is now able to focus more on the push for mid-table anonymity, with the conclusion of the Olympics, the IGLFA World Championships (Falcons bronze medallists, making some friends and more enemies) and tomorrow the World Junior Diving Championships (go Tom!).
Pleased to note Gunnar's brace of recent assists, and wishes CB, G2, and JL a pleasant trip to the sea-side next weekend. Suitable photos from Pontins are expected.
Caption competition via comments please: what is Funning Cox saying in the last photo? I shall submit my entry once your's are received.
Match Day 8 - Sheff United Away
Jim and myself followed this on the mobile phone from a London vodka bar.
Superhobbit scored.
Melts in your hand got fouled by the Sun Ghigh for a penalty, which Oh Lord then missed.
Sun got a red card and an early night.
They equalised.
Game over.
Another point, so could be worse, but mid-table obscurity is looking a bit too comfortable.
Superhobbit scored.
Melts in your hand got fouled by the Sun Ghigh for a penalty, which Oh Lord then missed.
Sun got a red card and an early night.
They equalised.
Game over.
Another point, so could be worse, but mid-table obscurity is looking a bit too comfortable.
City bought by $26bn new owners and sign Robinho
Can the headlines be true? Has Ranson sold out to some of the richest people on the planet? Have we broken the British transfer record to sign a reserve striker from Real Madrid?
Of course not.
We did offload the Show Pony to Fulham on loan for 12 months though, which is a result in itself.
I find myself in the rather odd position of not having anyone in the squad that I really dislike, and it's been a while since that was the case. Maybe a good sign. Or maybe we just have a really average bunch of players. Time will tell.
We will be monitoring the London dressage competition over the rest of the season, and will report back on how the Pony performs.
Of course not.
We did offload the Show Pony to Fulham on loan for 12 months though, which is a result in itself.
I find myself in the rather odd position of not having anyone in the squad that I really dislike, and it's been a while since that was the case. Maybe a good sign. Or maybe we just have a really average bunch of players. Time will tell.
We will be monitoring the London dressage competition over the rest of the season, and will report back on how the Pony performs.
Match Day 6 - Doncaster Away Match Report
None of us ventured to the Keep Moat to watch us lose 1-0.
While browsing the newly more expensive Times' match report this morning, I came across a thunderous motivational speech from our leader, the Coalman.
"This season will be a long, hard season for us again because we are not even nearly there in terms of being a team that can really have an assault on this league. We're still building. The team we've got here is a good team."
Long, hard season? Not even nearly there?
He's getting paid to do a job we'd all do for nothing, if he thinks it's going to be a long hard season, he should try being us.
If I hadn't given all my blood to the cause already, it would probably be boiling.
Thank God for an international break.
While browsing the newly more expensive Times' match report this morning, I came across a thunderous motivational speech from our leader, the Coalman.
"This season will be a long, hard season for us again because we are not even nearly there in terms of being a team that can really have an assault on this league. We're still building. The team we've got here is a good team."
Long, hard season? Not even nearly there?
He's getting paid to do a job we'd all do for nothing, if he thinks it's going to be a long hard season, he should try being us.
If I hadn't given all my blood to the cause already, it would probably be boiling.
Thank God for an international break.
Match Day 6 - Doncaster away
The whole point of doing this blog was to gather amusing stories of our trips to random football grounds.
So far, we've performed poorly in this respect.
Don't think anyone is going to Doncaster tomorrow either.
Thank God for Blackpool away for the weekend at the end of the month, and Cardiff away on the 30th to see our occasional IFA's son be the mascot. It's the IFA that's occasional, not the son. Father and son are permanently related.
It will get funnier, no really, it will.....
So far, we've performed poorly in this respect.
Don't think anyone is going to Doncaster tomorrow either.
Thank God for Blackpool away for the weekend at the end of the month, and Cardiff away on the 30th to see our occasional IFA's son be the mascot. It's the IFA that's occasional, not the son. Father and son are permanently related.
It will get funnier, no really, it will.....
Match Day 5 - Newcastle at the Ricoh
The Carling Cup returned to the Ricoh, almost a year on from West Ham's lucky 1-0 last minute win in the 4th round last season.
This year, due to a combination of inept rail connections and lack of car parking tickets, none of us could get there. So the Sports Caff on Haymarket was the venue, along with some new skyblue friends, who had also had the same idea.
A good first 20 minutes was thrown away with some inept defending and goalkeeping, leading to a 45 minute score of 0-2. The Geordies would have put their shirts on a win from this point. If they hadn't already lost them.
More reasons curled one into the top corner in injury time, to make it a slightly more optimistic 1-2 at half time. The second half came and almost went. Gunnar threw in an exocet in the 93rd minute, which Dann buried in the bottom corner. Extra time, surely our name was on the Cup?
Owen scored. Then Oh Lord flashed a header against the bar from 3 yards out. Our chance had gone. The Sky blue faithful prayed, but to no avail. 2-3 the final score
We can at least concentrate on the League. And the proper Cup in January.
This year, due to a combination of inept rail connections and lack of car parking tickets, none of us could get there. So the Sports Caff on Haymarket was the venue, along with some new skyblue friends, who had also had the same idea.
A good first 20 minutes was thrown away with some inept defending and goalkeeping, leading to a 45 minute score of 0-2. The Geordies would have put their shirts on a win from this point. If they hadn't already lost them.
More reasons curled one into the top corner in injury time, to make it a slightly more optimistic 1-2 at half time. The second half came and almost went. Gunnar threw in an exocet in the 93rd minute, which Dann buried in the bottom corner. Extra time, surely our name was on the Cup?
Owen scored. Then Oh Lord flashed a header against the bar from 3 yards out. Our chance had gone. The Sky blue faithful prayed, but to no avail. 2-3 the final score
We can at least concentrate on the League. And the proper Cup in January.
Match Day 4 - Bristol City (H)
The Wheels on the bus fell off.
0-3
Westwood and Eastwood both injured. Dele scored one and set one up. Coleman sent to the stands.
Apart from that, a good day's work....
0-3
Westwood and Eastwood both injured. Dele scored one and set one up. Coleman sent to the stands.
Apart from that, a good day's work....
The Division II Trophy
From today's match day programme a picture from July 1967 of the squad with the trophy they had just won. There's George Curtis, Jimmy Hill and Derek Robbins. But who is that fresh-faced youth-team goalkeeper sitting behind the trophy? Look very carefully. I shall say this only once: DAVID ICKE.
Match Day 4 - Bristol City Home
It's (just) Friday and the lame excuses for not attending our second home league game roll in. The Youth Development Officer is in London limbering up for the Gay World Cup. Come on you Falcons. The Drinks Waiter is boozing in support. Our esteemed Marketing Manager is off at wedding with the outlaws (which is the official term for your girlfriend's parents whilst you are still married). Our IFA is on holiday with the kids. So it looks like it just me and Matt lined up for glory or doom at the Ricoh. I shouldn't bitch too much as it looks like I'll be stuck in London for the Newcastle game.
It's astounding, time is fleeting
Can it really only be three months since the last league away game ended in such shameful joy at Charlton. Barnsley start their home season with an opening ceremony that even Boris Johnson can better...
Madness takes its toll...
Cards all round as Barnsley lose the plot (the top two being the aftermath of Hume's foul on Miffy which should have been a straight red and the bottom being Leon McKenzie on the receiving end).
But listen closely, not for very much longer, I've got to keep control
A decent performance by the ref - did n't give them a nailed on handball-penalty and waved away two good shouts for us.
With your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight
A few snaps of the YDO's new goalkeeping hero - quite what he was doing putting goose-fat on his thighs at half-time all on his own in the dugout (Mr Ireland that is, not the YDO). And could the YDO have a word about the attire. Apropos of nothing here's a link to my favourite version of Oh Danny Boy.
Let's do the Time Warp again
Decent fish and chips, big flags, wooden gantries and small crowds - just like football used to be before modern out of town stadia.
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